Mailbag: Pregnant with Another Boy

I’ve been using Mondays to clear out my mailbox. This week’s topic concerns pregnancy — specifically, people’s negative reactions to the news one is pregnant with another boy. Read on for my advice for dealing with such utter nonsense.

Question: How to handle negativity over pregnancy

Dear Jennifer,

May I ask you a word of advice? How do you deal with people acting as if it is a disappointment that you are pregnant with another boy? Surely you’ve dealt with this after so many boys.

I am so just grateful for a healthy child. I told the Lord when I found out I was expecting…that I would be happy with whatever He gives me. We had been trying for four years!

A friend

Answer: Clarify the motivation behind such comments and offer reassurance

Dear Friend,

Do these folks act as if THEY are disappointed you are having another boy, or as if they think that YOU must be?

I guess I didn’t pay close enough attention to notice whether anyone was disappointed when we had boy after boy (after boy after boy). There would have been little I could do about it had I known.🤪

Of course, if you mean that people assume you must be disappointed yourself, you can reassure them that you will be thoroughly delighted with either sex and are just so very grateful to be having a baby at all — especially one with a clean bill of health and extra-specially after so many years of failed attempts at conceiving!

I’ve never been able to understand people who have a strong preference for girls over boys or vice versa. Our main prayer for all our children, since before any were born, is that each one would come to faith at an early age. Beyond that, we pray that if it please the Lord, they would be strong and healthy and whole. The sex of our children has honestly never even made the list.

Maybe I’d feel differently if we’d had all boys and no girls at all, or all girls and no boys. Then perhaps I would hope for what we didn’t already have. But as it is, we are quite content to let God decide whether He sends us sons or daughters, without our petitioning for one over the other!

Nevertheless, not everybody sees things that way — especially those who are acting disappointed over the news that you are pregnant with another boy! For more specific suggestions on handling negative comments related to pregnancy, check out this post: 5 Tips for Responding to Negative Comments

And you’ll find tips on dealing with difficult people in general here: How to Handle a Difficult Mother-in-Law. Although the original post deals with MILs, the suggestions apply for getting along with anybody who is impossible to please.

Last but certainly not least, let me take this opportunity to offer my most hearty and unqualified congratulations on your pregnancy. How wonderful that the Lord is blessing you with another son! The world needs more godly men, and I pray he will give you an extra measure of wisdom and grace as you train this one up to love and honor Him!

Blessings,
Jennifer

PS. For more encouragement in your high calling to motherhood, check out Sweet Child of Mine, my interactive devotional journal just for moms. It contains 200+ pages chockfull of uplifting scriptures, writing prompts, word studies, and thoughtful quotes on the topic of motherhood, plus some of the most beautiful vintage artwork I’ve ever seen.

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